Christ Almighty, this NBA post-season is terrible.
Out of 13 playoff series already finished, only the Warriors/Mavs and Suns/Spurs have been worth a damn. And this Pistons/Cavs series isn't going to get any better from this point, half-time of game five.
I do not necessarily support fast-paced basketball, nor do I necessarily want my basketball to be extremely entertaining.
I enjoyed really good basketball.
I enjoy two teams striving to play the best basketball they can play for every minute of every game. The Suns/Spurs series typified this.
The Detroit/Cleveland series is a masterful work of mediocrity. With the exception of McDyess and Varejao, nobody on either of these teams play as hard as they can at all times.
Maybe the ejection of McDyess due to his hard foul on Varejao was a microcasm of how the league is going to operate from here on out: play hard and emotional and you get kicked out (reference also the Diaw, Stoudemire boner).
But I'm losing myself here. These teams are COASTING. They are driving to the fucking drive-through for some Taco Bell, drunk at 2 in the morning, driving slow enough to avoid any police entaglement. They're playing to the sound of stoned-out reggae music instead of getting crunk and crushing the other team.
The reason these game have all been so close is that neither team has the balls to rip the heart out of the other team. Not Chauncey, not Lebron, not Sheed, not any of these play-ground bitches. Only Dice and Sideshow Bob.
The entire point of this rambling is this: as much as I hate the Spurs for destroying the Nuggs cheating the Suns, and having the whiniest team in the L, I cannot wait for them to demolish either of these teams. They will chop these teams up and spit them out onto Stern's lap.
So that's what this NBA season has amounted to. Me rooting for the team I hate the most in the league, because at least THEY FUCKING PLAY.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
The Inherent Confession of Sports
John Elway just led the Denver Broncos to their 8th strait Super Bowl.
I just got laid in an elevator.
The Golden State Warriors just swept the Utah Jazz to make it to the Western Conference Finals.
So I get to eat my words now that the Jazz are leading Golden State 3-1 headed home for game 5.
Luckily, nobody really reads this, so I don't have to feel too bad.
And honestly, I don't feel that bad, considering how enamoured everyone on the planet has been with these Warriors over the past few weeks AND the fact that they were so close in games 1 and 2 in Utah.
Plus I'm from Colorado, have no connections to the Bay Area, and...
it's a fucking game, a meaningless game, to begin with.
Which is why I love it so much.
In the post-modern world we've found that most everything is folly. Everything from school to politics to working to pompous terms like post-modern represent simply a passing of time that we as the human species have deemed to be meaningful for some arbitrary reason or another.
And sports is no different.
Clearly, my life tomorrow would not be any different if Golden State won this series, the championship, or if we elected Nellie President of the United States (although it would be awesome).
But sports are more compelling than pretty much anything else on the planet, if only because they admit from the get-go that they are no more than leisure activity...folly.
That inherent confession of sports is what gives it power. It is folly that we've focused into something we can measure and follow, watch in evening-long increments, use to forget about our usually banal lives, but (more than anything) it's a way for us to distill the ever-illusive human spirit into something we can understand.
Can you learn any more about Baron Davis than watching him obliterate the Jazz in game 3, than bricking 3 after 3 in game 4?
Can you learn more about S-Jax than watching him almost throw the ball into the stands, and then palming it to the point where you think he's going to pop it because he wants so badly to scream that he might explode--people are expecting him to--but he knows he can't because his very essence thrives on this single game?
Can you learn more about Fischer by watching him put all the emotion of his difficult personal life into the fourth quarter of a meaningless game?
(does Derek Fischer have a legit nickname, or is he referred to as "D-Fisch"? I like D-Fisch because it sounds like Sebastian from The Little Mermaid is the play-by-play announcer: go on and kiss Dee-Fisch)
It's more honest than politics, a hell of a lot more entertaining than work, and more compelling than our "real" lives can consistently be.
Over the past few weeks, the Warriors have demonstrated that folly. They don't call plays, they rarely strategize, and they never regret their last shot (even when they should).
In all senses of the word, the Warriors are playing.
They're compelling, emotional, entertaining, and there's not a thing I'd rather do with my evening that watch them play.
And regardless of how meaningless I can tell myself it is, I still find myself nervously switching between the Utah Jazz free-throws of the final 2 minutes and The Chronicles of Riddick on the next channel over.
In a post-game interview, Jerry Sloan, talking about D-Fisch, made the excellent point that this is just basketball. It's just a game. Everything going on with Fischer's family was a million times more important than that game.
And D-Fisch would probably agree with you.
But he certainly didn't play like that, did he?
If there's anything I that I can take away from the Warriors playoff run this spring, it's that Baron Davis dunking over AK-47 is the coolest fucking thing ever, and that YES, the fact that I will remember that forever means something, even if it really doesn't.
And that Deron Williams is a douche.
I just got laid in an elevator.
The Golden State Warriors just swept the Utah Jazz to make it to the Western Conference Finals.
So I get to eat my words now that the Jazz are leading Golden State 3-1 headed home for game 5.
Luckily, nobody really reads this, so I don't have to feel too bad.
And honestly, I don't feel that bad, considering how enamoured everyone on the planet has been with these Warriors over the past few weeks AND the fact that they were so close in games 1 and 2 in Utah.
Plus I'm from Colorado, have no connections to the Bay Area, and...
it's a fucking game, a meaningless game, to begin with.
Which is why I love it so much.
In the post-modern world we've found that most everything is folly. Everything from school to politics to working to pompous terms like post-modern represent simply a passing of time that we as the human species have deemed to be meaningful for some arbitrary reason or another.
And sports is no different.
Clearly, my life tomorrow would not be any different if Golden State won this series, the championship, or if we elected Nellie President of the United States (although it would be awesome).
But sports are more compelling than pretty much anything else on the planet, if only because they admit from the get-go that they are no more than leisure activity...folly.
That inherent confession of sports is what gives it power. It is folly that we've focused into something we can measure and follow, watch in evening-long increments, use to forget about our usually banal lives, but (more than anything) it's a way for us to distill the ever-illusive human spirit into something we can understand.
Can you learn any more about Baron Davis than watching him obliterate the Jazz in game 3, than bricking 3 after 3 in game 4?
Can you learn more about S-Jax than watching him almost throw the ball into the stands, and then palming it to the point where you think he's going to pop it because he wants so badly to scream that he might explode--people are expecting him to--but he knows he can't because his very essence thrives on this single game?
Can you learn more about Fischer by watching him put all the emotion of his difficult personal life into the fourth quarter of a meaningless game?
(does Derek Fischer have a legit nickname, or is he referred to as "D-Fisch"? I like D-Fisch because it sounds like Sebastian from The Little Mermaid is the play-by-play announcer: go on and kiss Dee-Fisch)
It's more honest than politics, a hell of a lot more entertaining than work, and more compelling than our "real" lives can consistently be.
Over the past few weeks, the Warriors have demonstrated that folly. They don't call plays, they rarely strategize, and they never regret their last shot (even when they should).
In all senses of the word, the Warriors are playing.
They're compelling, emotional, entertaining, and there's not a thing I'd rather do with my evening that watch them play.
And regardless of how meaningless I can tell myself it is, I still find myself nervously switching between the Utah Jazz free-throws of the final 2 minutes and The Chronicles of Riddick on the next channel over.
In a post-game interview, Jerry Sloan, talking about D-Fisch, made the excellent point that this is just basketball. It's just a game. Everything going on with Fischer's family was a million times more important than that game.
And D-Fisch would probably agree with you.
But he certainly didn't play like that, did he?
If there's anything I that I can take away from the Warriors playoff run this spring, it's that Baron Davis dunking over AK-47 is the coolest fucking thing ever, and that YES, the fact that I will remember that forever means something, even if it really doesn't.
And that Deron Williams is a douche.
Friday, May 4, 2007
Whats next for team Zissou?
The Mavericks/Golden State series had everything:
David vs. Goliath
Passion vs. Execution
Avery vs. Nellie
Nellie vs. Cuban
Cuban's coke habit vs. Snoops reefer madness
Dirk vs. Himself
Dirk vs. Stern
S-Jax vs. the Refs
Baron vs. his leg
But when it came down to it, the Mavericks just looked like shit. They didn't look like Goliath any more than Dirk looked like the MVP.
In retrospect, I'm suprised it took six games for the Warriors to end it.
Without the Baron and S-Jax exections in game 2 and the unfortunate style change in game 5, this shit should've been wrapped up by last monday.
Which leads me, very naturally, to this question:
Who the hell can stop the Warriors?
If they mopped up the Mavericks, is there anyone who seriously thinks the Jazz or Rockets can do a damned thing about them?
Let's say its the Rockets:
Yao will average 12 minutes and 4 turn-overs per game. Richardson, S-Jax will shut down T-Mac. Whatever chump the Rockets put in at the point won't be able to get the ball past half court. All the match-up problems GS presented Dallas will be magnified 10x. The Warriors will win in 5.
The Jazz?
The Warriors ability to switch on pick and rolls will dissect Sloan's immaculate offense. Okur won't be able to spread the floor whatsoever with Harriongton or Beidrins on him. Utah will not be able to keep up. Neither will Salt Lake City...can you imagine the kind of shitstorm S-Jax will let loose on the Mormon capital of the world? GS in 4.
For either of those teams to win a game or two, T-Mac or Boozer will have to go for 40 or 50 in a game, and I can't imagine that even happening against these Warriors.
Either way, I can't wait.
David vs. Goliath
Passion vs. Execution
Avery vs. Nellie
Nellie vs. Cuban
Cuban's coke habit vs. Snoops reefer madness
Dirk vs. Himself
Dirk vs. Stern
S-Jax vs. the Refs
Baron vs. his leg
But when it came down to it, the Mavericks just looked like shit. They didn't look like Goliath any more than Dirk looked like the MVP.
In retrospect, I'm suprised it took six games for the Warriors to end it.
Without the Baron and S-Jax exections in game 2 and the unfortunate style change in game 5, this shit should've been wrapped up by last monday.
Which leads me, very naturally, to this question:
Who the hell can stop the Warriors?
If they mopped up the Mavericks, is there anyone who seriously thinks the Jazz or Rockets can do a damned thing about them?
Let's say its the Rockets:
Yao will average 12 minutes and 4 turn-overs per game. Richardson, S-Jax will shut down T-Mac. Whatever chump the Rockets put in at the point won't be able to get the ball past half court. All the match-up problems GS presented Dallas will be magnified 10x. The Warriors will win in 5.
The Jazz?
The Warriors ability to switch on pick and rolls will dissect Sloan's immaculate offense. Okur won't be able to spread the floor whatsoever with Harriongton or Beidrins on him. Utah will not be able to keep up. Neither will Salt Lake City...can you imagine the kind of shitstorm S-Jax will let loose on the Mormon capital of the world? GS in 4.
For either of those teams to win a game or two, T-Mac or Boozer will have to go for 40 or 50 in a game, and I can't imagine that even happening against these Warriors.
Either way, I can't wait.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Why the Warriors lost game 5
Through 46 minutes of basketball, Golden State played without hesitation or abandon. They battled through Dallas' behemoth 1st quarter and hoisted themselves back into the game the way we've come to expect. They dominated through the third and fourth quarters, capped by remarkable 3 point shooting and a back-breaking half-court oop from Baron to Richardson.
Then, with 2 minutes left, Nellie takes a full timeout. I can only suspect that he told his players to try to make each possession last 20+ seconds to draw out the clock.
Witness the following Golden State possessions:
-Richardson misses a jumper (16 second possession)
-Jackson misses a jumper (24 second possession)
-Pietrus misses a 3-pointer (16 second possession)
by this point they've surrendered the lead to Dallas, Baron is the only one able to stop the clock by fouling Howard, and they find themselves down 2 with 21 seconds remaining without their lone play-maker, best scorer and man who's made out of the stuff that dreams are made of.
The Baron foul isn't the point. Golden State stopped playing their game. They tried to grind. They tried to slow things down. They passed on open shots and deferred to jumpers instead of taking it to the hole hard and forcing Dallas' interior defense to make a play or put them on the line.
Remember game 4? There was no way they were grinding that game out--they were racing to the finish line. They played out of their minds and the results blew mine.
Game 6: Nellie makes his only mistake of consequence thus far IN THE SERIES by calling that timeout and asking the Warriors to play Mavericks basketball.
In game 6 I fully expect the Warriors to play the same balls-to-the-wall basketball that have made them remarkable this series. If they stick to that...I honestly don't think Jesus can stop them, much less Dirk.
Then, with 2 minutes left, Nellie takes a full timeout. I can only suspect that he told his players to try to make each possession last 20+ seconds to draw out the clock.
Witness the following Golden State possessions:
-Richardson misses a jumper (16 second possession)
-Jackson misses a jumper (24 second possession)
-Pietrus misses a 3-pointer (16 second possession)
by this point they've surrendered the lead to Dallas, Baron is the only one able to stop the clock by fouling Howard, and they find themselves down 2 with 21 seconds remaining without their lone play-maker, best scorer and man who's made out of the stuff that dreams are made of.
The Baron foul isn't the point. Golden State stopped playing their game. They tried to grind. They tried to slow things down. They passed on open shots and deferred to jumpers instead of taking it to the hole hard and forcing Dallas' interior defense to make a play or put them on the line.
Remember game 4? There was no way they were grinding that game out--they were racing to the finish line. They played out of their minds and the results blew mine.
Game 6: Nellie makes his only mistake of consequence thus far IN THE SERIES by calling that timeout and asking the Warriors to play Mavericks basketball.
In game 6 I fully expect the Warriors to play the same balls-to-the-wall basketball that have made them remarkable this series. If they stick to that...I honestly don't think Jesus can stop them, much less Dirk.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)