Boston Massacre

The Denver Nuggets 119-93 loss to the Boston Celtics in Bean Town on Wednesday night hurt more than the average regular season loss: it was watching the World Series all over again. It could easily have been game five in a five game sweep of the pride of Denver sports.

Sure, it was the second game of a back-to-back on the road against a heavily hyped (and well rested) Celtics team. Sure, the Nuggets have been blanketed by injuries, leaving them no good options at point guard or power forward.

But as I quietly wept next to my AM radio, I couldn’t help but think of the smarmy Boston fans, gleefully gloating over the pathetic showings of the Rockies and Nuggets over the past weeks. As with the Rockies, I couldn’t help but be disappointed: we’re better than this. The Nuggets are a better basketball team than they were Wednesday night, just as the Rockies aren’t the JV of baseball, as Boston fans would suggest.

Something has been forgotten, between the sweep of the World Series, the Nuggets lackadaisical start, and the Broncos pathetic season. Just weeks ago, we were a proud state, gleaming as the Rockies tore through the National League like a blitzkrieg. Now, we don’t want to talk about it. Bring up the Broncos? I don’t want to talk about it. The World Series? I don’t want to talk about it. Somewhere between Rocktober and November, we, as a state have lost our pride.

It may be too late for the Broncos this year. The Rockies will have to wait till April to prove that they weren’t a fluke. But the Nuggets are here and now, and need to play every game with heart, pride, and dedication worthy of our great state. The Nuggets are a great team: they simply need to remember it.

I'm drinking the Nuggets Koolaid!

I've lived in Colorado my entire life without falling in love with the Nuggets. I've been to playoff games, owned jerseys, watched every game, but I've always had one leg in the wagon, one out. In truth, that's why this blog is about the NBA and not the Nuggets: while I love the NBA, I'm always on the fence with the Dank Nuggs.

I was going to give myself 10 games this season to decide whether or not I'm going to drink the Koolaid, but after their emphatic opening night win over the OK City Sonics, I'm already leaning there.

Everyone on the team looks like they're ready to play and win. AI with 14 dimes and 7 steals doesn't seem like Philly to me. Melo is getting close to unstoppable on the offensive end. Diawara and Kleiza were the the opposite of unwatchable for the first time in their careers. K-Mart is going to change the face and attitude of this team, in a very good way.

Drastic improvement has been made to the Nuggets front-court. Last season, they're 4/5 rotation was constantly injured (Camby, Nene) or undersized (Najera, Reggie Evans...the nutcracker). With the addition of K-Mart and the assumed health and development of Nene, the front court has heft, athleticism, size, and (surprisingly) defensive prowess. K-Mart logged 3 blocks in 18 minutes, while Camby had five in 35. If they can provide a strong base on the defensive end, the guards defense will shape up, too.

Eddy Najera has always been a smart and scrappy defender (crafty Mexican, if you will), but he's also a hard-working and savvy muchacho who provides defensive leadership on the floor. (Insert racist dishwashing joke here) Watching him scold Melo is priceless. Factor in his two three-balls on Halloween night, after one all last season, and he's earning his money.

George Karl's preseason focus on defense is still a long time away from being a reality, but it feels like progress to hear K-Mart call the effort during the blowout "mediocre." Karl's plan is simple: play suffocating D while AI roams passing lanes, and being extremely aggressive on the break. They might not have a Nash or Kidd, but K-Mart and Melo are freight trains on the break, and AI isn't so shabby, either. This could work as well as the 7 second drill in Phoenix simply because Camby, Nene and K-Mark can be so effective protecting the rim. Once they get into a slowdown offense, they can ride the skills of AI and Melo in isolation.

All of this stems from defense, and I think Karl has the right idea for his talent.

Obviously, I could be extremely wrong. There could be a fight for minutes between Nene and K-Mart that will result in K-Mart getting benched in a double overtime game, and Nene's knee exploding. Anybody's knee might explode at any given time. JR Smith could get the entire team arrested on marijuana charges. Melo might slap David Stern. It's the NBA, for Christ's sake...who knows?

The Fantasic NBA

I'm giddy, there's no denying it. But I know I'm in the minority here. So for you nonbelievers who have absolutely no reason to read an NBA blog...

Here are my top five reasons to love the NBA:

5.) David Stern: The man who ruined the playoffs last year, destroyed the physicality of the game, and has slowly eroded the popularity of the sport has ONE thing going for him: he's set himself up (unintentionally, I think) as the best villain the league has to offer. He's getting more insane every year (changing the ball) and clamping down on the players so hard (15 games to Melo for missing a punch) that he's become as unpredictable and combustible as a 5' 6" Jewish 'Sheed. Sheed doesn't even have the balls to be as bad as Stern.

4.) Steve Nash: His competitive drive is threatening to break out of his brain through is eye-sockets. His coach is going to play even faster than last year. He still has the smallest and best supporting cast in basketball. Most importantly, he's the best passer in the game: tied for 1st all-time with Magic and Kidd. And I loooove a nasty pass, especially when it's followed up by a Marion or Stoudamire slam.

3.) The Celtics. Hey, who knows? This could be the next great team of the latter part of this decade, which could lead to years of silly debates over who the best power forward in the game is. Or not.

2.) Michael Jordan. MJ's got a lot of stuff going for him. Homosexually under-toned underwear commercials with Kevin Bacon and Cuba Gooding Jr. (note: I'm not blaming those guys...I'd probably go gay for MJ too). Making and losing a lot of money playing golf and cards. But it must be great hearing any number of young players in the NBA being compared to him and thinking "really? are these people serious? have they forgotten so quick?" Real Basketball fans, along with Jordan, know that Kobe, Bron, Wade, Durrant, and Vince couldn't COMBINE to be as good as MJ was. But it's nice to see them try so I can talk shit about the idiotic comparisons.

1.) Charles Barkley. If MJ was responsible for the league's success in the 90's, Charles is responsible for it now. He's the most popular character in the sport, he's by far the most entertaining, and there's no way that injuries could ravage his season. I'm glad to have him back.


Preseason Picks:
Finals: Suns over Celtics in 6 games
Finals MVP: Grant Hill
Season MVP: Kevin Garnett
Most Improved Player: LaMarcus Alderidge
Rookie of the Year: Luis Scola
Defensive Player of the Year: Gerald Wallace
Sixth Man: MANU!!!!

Boston Nightmare

Boston fans are preparing this season by doing what they do best: stroking themselves.

After years of inadequacy, the Celtics tripped into ridiculous and undeserved talent and legitimacy. Considering the front office had made themselves a league-wide laughing stock and their superstar ended the season with the competitive edge of a hypochondriac middle-school student, it’s miraculous that the basketball gods could at all reason giving the Celtics relevancy.

As if Boston needs this. The Patriots are playing as well as any football team has ever played. The Red Sox just swept the World Series. The whole town, and anyone who ever had a friend who lived there, is patting each other on the backs and preparing to rub it in to the rest of the nation. I’ve never want to punch a sports fan in the neck as bad as I want to punch the collective neck of Boston sports fans.

But let’s be honest: just because the town, fans, and organization don’t deserve it doesn’t change the fact that having Garnett, Allen, and Pierce on the floor at the same time will provide the most entertaining and effective basketball in the East (remember the Eastern Conference finals last year?).

Maybe ESPN and TNT’s lack of coverage for the Celtics and Sonics has dulled our memory of just how good Allen and Pierce are. They are bona fide assassins with a basketball.

Then there’s KG.

Like Magic, MJ, Rodman, and Shaq before him, KG is one of the few legitimate basketball players with a freakish, once in millennia body. I’ve long maintained that KG should be placed in a government breeding system to create the perfect physical human. Stir in the borderline self-destructive competitive rage that occupies his mind, and there’s a man to be scared of.

For the first time in fifteen years, we actually have to take the Celtics seriously. If it weren’t for legions of Red Sox fans and the steamrolling Patriots, I might be outwardly excited. As it is now, I’ll have to quietly watch and simply be pleased that I won’t have to watch another Cavs/ Pistons shit-show in the Conference Finals, while simultaneously fighting off impulses to fight Boston sports fans all over the country.

Bronbronbron

Everybody remembers where they were for great playoff moments like Lebron's game 5 in the Palace last night. For Reggie Miller, I was at my uncle's house in Denver and I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

That wasn't how I was feeling last night, as I watched the second half and overtimes from the glorious Steakout Saloon.

I was stricken with the utter ineptitude of the Pistons defense.

-They didn't take a single charge, despite the fact that Lebron was making a B line to the rim about 70% of the time.

-They didn't consistently foul Lebron as he took it to the rack, even though he's proven over and over that he's better at dunking than free-throws.

-Their double teams, coming from the zone, were incredibly weak, so none of Bron's teammates EVER had to prove themselves. He scored the last 25 fucking points! Didn't anybody notice?!?!

I can attribute this to two things.

The ejection of Antonio McDyess, who serves as one of their smartest, most dedicated, and most physical interior defenders, meant that Maxiell and Webber had to step up. Neither seemed willing to do so as Lebron crashed towards the rim. They were far to concerned with keeping on their defensive assignments on the exterior than preventing Bron's drive. Which leads me to the more important point.

Flip Saunders is an IDIOT. The Pistons defense throughout the playoffs has been exemplary. Their starting five (except for Webber), along with Lindsay Hunter and Dice are some of the smartest defenders in the league. But Bron simply destroyed them because Flip didn't have a clue. He stayed with the zone, didn't pressure the ball enough, and that's not even mentioning what happened on the offensive end.

Lebron was shooting great. He was fast to the rim. He was aggressive getting to the paint.

But I'm not willing to compare this to Reggie Miller, Michael Jordan, or even Dikembe Mutombo.

Half-time in Detroit

Christ Almighty, this NBA post-season is terrible.

Out of 13 playoff series already finished, only the Warriors/Mavs and Suns/Spurs have been worth a damn. And this Pistons/Cavs series isn't going to get any better from this point, half-time of game five.

I do not necessarily support fast-paced basketball, nor do I necessarily want my basketball to be extremely entertaining.

I enjoyed really good basketball.

I enjoy two teams striving to play the best basketball they can play for every minute of every game. The Suns/Spurs series typified this.

The Detroit/Cleveland series is a masterful work of mediocrity. With the exception of McDyess and Varejao, nobody on either of these teams play as hard as they can at all times.

Maybe the ejection of McDyess due to his hard foul on Varejao was a microcasm of how the league is going to operate from here on out: play hard and emotional and you get kicked out (reference also the Diaw, Stoudemire boner).

But I'm losing myself here. These teams are COASTING. They are driving to the fucking drive-through for some Taco Bell, drunk at 2 in the morning, driving slow enough to avoid any police entaglement. They're playing to the sound of stoned-out reggae music instead of getting crunk and crushing the other team.

The reason these game have all been so close is that neither team has the balls to rip the heart out of the other team. Not Chauncey, not Lebron, not Sheed, not any of these play-ground bitches. Only Dice and Sideshow Bob.

The entire point of this rambling is this: as much as I hate the Spurs for destroying the Nuggs cheating the Suns, and having the whiniest team in the L, I cannot wait for them to demolish either of these teams. They will chop these teams up and spit them out onto Stern's lap.

So that's what this NBA season has amounted to. Me rooting for the team I hate the most in the league, because at least THEY FUCKING PLAY.

The Inherent Confession of Sports

John Elway just led the Denver Broncos to their 8th strait Super Bowl.

I just got laid in an elevator.

The Golden State Warriors just swept the Utah Jazz to make it to the Western Conference Finals.

So I get to eat my words now that the Jazz are leading Golden State 3-1 headed home for game 5.

Luckily, nobody really reads this, so I don't have to feel too bad.

And honestly, I don't feel that bad, considering how enamoured everyone on the planet has been with these Warriors over the past few weeks AND the fact that they were so close in games 1 and 2 in Utah.

Plus I'm from Colorado, have no connections to the Bay Area, and...

it's a fucking game, a meaningless game, to begin with.

Which is why I love it so much.

In the post-modern world we've found that most everything is folly. Everything from school to politics to working to pompous terms like post-modern represent simply a passing of time that we as the human species have deemed to be meaningful for some arbitrary reason or another.

And sports is no different.

Clearly, my life tomorrow would not be any different if Golden State won this series, the championship, or if we elected Nellie President of the United States (although it would be awesome).

But sports are more compelling than pretty much anything else on the planet, if only because they admit from the get-go that they are no more than leisure activity...folly.

That inherent confession of sports is what gives it power. It is folly that we've focused into something we can measure and follow, watch in evening-long increments, use to forget about our usually banal lives, but (more than anything) it's a way for us to distill the ever-illusive human spirit into something we can understand.

Can you learn any more about Baron Davis than watching him obliterate the Jazz in game 3, than bricking 3 after 3 in game 4?


Can you learn more about S-Jax than watching him almost throw the ball into the stands, and then palming it to the point where you think he's going to pop it because he wants so badly to scream that he might explode--people are expecting him to--but he knows he can't because his very essence thrives on this single game?

Can you learn more about Fischer by watching him put all the emotion of his difficult personal life into the fourth quarter of a meaningless game?

(does Derek Fischer have a legit nickname, or is he referred to as "D-Fisch"? I like D-Fisch because it sounds like Sebastian from The Little Mermaid is the play-by-play announcer: go on and kiss Dee-Fisch)

It's more honest than politics, a hell of a lot more entertaining than work, and more compelling than our "real" lives can consistently be.

Over the past few weeks, the Warriors have demonstrated that folly. They don't call plays, they rarely strategize, and they never regret their last shot (even when they should).

In all senses of the word, the Warriors are playing.

They're compelling, emotional, entertaining, and there's not a thing I'd rather do with my evening that watch them play.

And regardless of how meaningless I can tell myself it is, I still find myself nervously switching between the Utah Jazz free-throws of the final 2 minutes and The Chronicles of Riddick on the next channel over.

In a post-game interview, Jerry Sloan, talking about D-Fisch, made the excellent point that this is just basketball. It's just a game. Everything going on with Fischer's family was a million times more important than that game.

And D-Fisch would probably agree with you.

But he certainly didn't play like that, did he?

If there's anything I that I can take away from the Warriors playoff run this spring, it's that Baron Davis dunking over AK-47 is the coolest fucking thing ever, and that YES, the fact that I will remember that forever means something, even if it really doesn't.

And that Deron Williams is a douche.

Whats next for team Zissou?

The Mavericks/Golden State series had everything:

David vs. Goliath

Passion vs. Execution

Avery vs. Nellie

Nellie vs. Cuban

Cuban's coke habit vs. Snoops reefer madness

Dirk vs. Himself

Dirk vs. Stern

S-Jax vs. the Refs

Baron vs. his leg

But when it came down to it, the Mavericks just looked like shit. They didn't look like Goliath any more than Dirk looked like the MVP.

In retrospect, I'm suprised it took six games for the Warriors to end it.

Without the Baron and S-Jax exections in game 2 and the unfortunate style change in game 5, this shit should've been wrapped up by last monday.

Which leads me, very naturally, to this question:

Who the hell can stop the Warriors?

If they mopped up the Mavericks, is there anyone who seriously thinks the Jazz or Rockets can do a damned thing about them?

Let's say its the Rockets:

Yao will average 12 minutes and 4 turn-overs per game. Richardson, S-Jax will shut down T-Mac. Whatever chump the Rockets put in at the point won't be able to get the ball past half court. All the match-up problems GS presented Dallas will be magnified 10x. The Warriors will win in 5.

The Jazz?

The Warriors ability to switch on pick and rolls will dissect Sloan's immaculate offense. Okur won't be able to spread the floor whatsoever with Harriongton or Beidrins on him. Utah will not be able to keep up. Neither will Salt Lake City...can you imagine the kind of shitstorm S-Jax will let loose on the Mormon capital of the world? GS in 4.

For either of those teams to win a game or two, T-Mac or Boozer will have to go for 40 or 50 in a game, and I can't imagine that even happening against these Warriors.

Either way, I can't wait.

Why the Warriors lost game 5

Through 46 minutes of basketball, Golden State played without hesitation or abandon. They battled through Dallas' behemoth 1st quarter and hoisted themselves back into the game the way we've come to expect. They dominated through the third and fourth quarters, capped by remarkable 3 point shooting and a back-breaking half-court oop from Baron to Richardson.

Then, with 2 minutes left, Nellie takes a full timeout. I can only suspect that he told his players to try to make each possession last 20+ seconds to draw out the clock.

Witness the following Golden State possessions:
-Richardson misses a jumper (16 second possession)
-Jackson misses a jumper (24 second possession)
-Pietrus misses a 3-pointer (16 second possession)

by this point they've surrendered the lead to Dallas, Baron is the only one able to stop the clock by fouling Howard, and they find themselves down 2 with 21 seconds remaining without their lone play-maker, best scorer and man who's made out of the stuff that dreams are made of.

The Baron foul isn't the point. Golden State stopped playing their game. They tried to grind. They tried to slow things down. They passed on open shots and deferred to jumpers instead of taking it to the hole hard and forcing Dallas' interior defense to make a play or put them on the line.

Remember game 4? There was no way they were grinding that game out--they were racing to the finish line. They played out of their minds and the results blew mine.

Game 6: Nellie makes his only mistake of consequence thus far IN THE SERIES by calling that timeout and asking the Warriors to play Mavericks basketball.

In game 6 I fully expect the Warriors to play the same balls-to-the-wall basketball that have made them remarkable this series. If they stick to that...I honestly don't think Jesus can stop them, much less Dirk.

Warriors-Mavs game 4

The Mavs current disintegration at the hands of the harshest team in basketball makes me feel like a child again.

Not like being 70 minutes through "The Mighty Ducks" happy.

More like Reggie Miller has just stolen the ball from the Knicks and drilled another three-pointer, and I'm at my uncles house flipping the fuck out, hopping all over the living room like a dumb dog.

--my favorite feeling until I discovered masturbating high.

I can't really put my finger on it. Much like the Pacers of my childhood, I have no legitimate connection to Golden State. I didn't follow them at all before the playoffs. All things considered, I should be beyond excited that I'm going to game 4 of the Nuggs/Spurs tonight.

But I just can't get the Warriors out of my head.

From seeing them play the Nuggets on public access shit TV a few times and their out-gunning of the Suns on National TV, I knew that they were ballsy as hell, and fucking fun to watch.

I can even claim that I called this as one likely upset, even if I never mentioned it to anyone but myself.

But watching the Warriors is like watching a pack of rabid wolves crashing a dog show. Dallas, with their pedigreed MVP candidate and ass-sniffing point guard (Devin Harris needs to be fouled hard everytime he goes to the rim), is left getting chewed up and regurgitated into the mouths of the hungry Golden State fans.

Dallas is feeling what it's like to play starving basketball.

It doesn't help that the Warriors system is effectively shutting Dirk down, and all his teammates are being ridiculously out-hustled. Plus his coach can't seem to figure out anything that works consistantly on either end of the floor.

Defensivly, if he goes big he has to play Diop, due to Dampier being so goddamned slow. Regardless, both of them are lightening-rods for fouls because the Warriors take it to the rack so strong and Dirk provides no interior threat.

Offensively, I don't understand why Avery hasn't tried to get Howard more touches. In the second half of game 4 he seemed to trying to go through Terry or Stack almost exclusively, and while both were hot for periods, obviously neither was the ticket. Howard is the one guy the Mavs have that is faster and bigger than the Warriors, and he was the one who provided the big boosts during the first half. 20 points in the first half and 2 in the second? Get your head out of Stack's ass, Avery, and give the ball to Howard.

Adjustments can be made, and Stack and Terry can call all the "player only meetings" they want, but its not going to change the fact that Golden State is faster, more aggresive, and obviously wants to win a hell of a lot more.

Really, none of this matters one iato.

Because Baron Davis is on a mission from God.

He's out of this world. He takes control of the game with every dribble, breaking Mavs' backs with every shot. He's taking the best team with the best player in the league out to the dump. Then he's taking them out of the back of his truck and smacking them around for a few minutes.

But he's doing it so effortlessly that I can't help but think back to Reggie getting that look on his face.

The "fuck everything, we're winning this game." look.

When the rare instance of a player finding the perfect blend of adreneline, skill, team support, and, most of all, passion occurs, not even the 67-win show dogs can slow him down.

Davis glides through double teams, around defenders like they're cones, scores like there's no way he could miss, and commands the entire universe around him. He's a childhood dream coming true in real-time. He's moonwalking.

Apparently Davis asked Nelson what he needed to do before game 4.

"To dominate."

Baron: "Ok coach."

Seriously.